Friday, 29 October 2010

Pride comes before a fall

Well, after being so pleased with myself that I'd passed by that 27th date without noticing, of course last night in bed I lay awake for ages going over memories in my head. I just couldn't get rid of them.

There are some memories that I know Mr H must go over occasionally as well, even if from a slightly different perspective, we share them; then there are others that are just mine because I was there on my own, the first couple of days/nights in hospital for instance.

Having been on the ward for 2 weeks so seen people come and go, it's weird that when I think about that first night when I arrived on the ward very late at night, I somehow wonder how it sounded from outside my bed-curtains.   When the police came and took bloods from me, and the nurses had to roll me when they moved me on to the bed and I cried out in pain (I think that was the only time) - I wonder what the other patients were thinking.  None of the others on my ward were in a similar situation so they must have thought "Who is she? what happened? why are the police here?" I'll bet they couldn't wait for the morning to find out the story.

My wee friend Hedgy who was rescued from the wreckage and kept me company

The whole memories-in-the-dark thing reminded me that I should be reading more of the "Crash Course" book that work bought me, but I got to a part in it where I was thinking "What the hell are you talking about?" and stopped. Maybe I'll skip that bit...

To be honest I think talking to people like you is sometimes just as helpful.


  1. i never been in a horrific accident like yours but years ago i did a pretty bad spin out on black ice , the only thing that prevented the car from flipping was the snowbanks on the side of the highway which the car kept bouncing off. This experience stayed with me for along , long time. So i can only imagine how hard it would be for you remembering. I hope you feel a little better today ♥
    Hedgy is very cute

  2. Yes, I bet the other people on the ward were very curious...
    It is good that you have this outlet. It's amazing what connecting with strangers can do for the soul. It forces you to be authentic, and as such to reach out to and be reached.
    Keep writing. I want more.

  3. I was in a pretty bad car accident when I was about 11. The van we were in was T boned by some scammers who were breaking the law with the seat belts. They had 7 people in a car that could fit 5. Anyways, I was right where they hit us. Thankfully because the van was on a truck bed we were higher up and therefore didn't get hurt.

    But the image of them rushing into us because they didn't slow down, in fact they sped up into us, plays in my head every now and again.

  4. Ah, memories will do that--come willy nilly as they please.

    And you're right. I've found out of the head and into black and white is a helpful tool for me. Things tend to get bigger when they're left in my head. And really, my brain is a dangerous neighborhood to wander around in alone. (WPIML assures me this is a true it must be!)

    Thinking of you......

  5. Memories have a tendency to do that and play with you in the darkness of the night some times even now some 20 years after my fathers heart attack the thoughts creep back and whisper but the emotional response is no longer there

    I scanned the crash course thing not to my taste I might have read it when I went through my spiritual, self healing gig 10 years ago.

    Each person is quite resorceful in finding what they need to heal from a situation often better than any book can tell you.

  6. I myself have never been through anything like your horrible crash, (I looked at your pictures the other day) so glad you all survived, and Django was inside too! And now Hedgy (so adorable) I've seen crashes with less damage than yours and they were fatal for those involved(my hubby as a auto-repair shop,) all it takes is the wrong bump on the head....but the memories of it all can't be good, so you have to look at the good out are almost without crutches and life is good!

  7. Thanks everybody; and to those of you have been through crashes or near crashes, I'm so glad you survived or I'd never have met you!

    Mel "out of the head and into black and white" - I like that phrase, I should stick it up on the wall.

    CJ: Interesting that you tried that book too.. I've never really been 'into' that sort of thing and I too tend to find my own way through things.

    Karen: Hedgy is a rescue bear, we picked him up in a car park in Hedge End (hence his name), some kid must have dropped him.

    The driver of the white truck that hit us died the next day, she had head and neck injuries. I was lucky and had no injuries above breast height. One of the insurance men who came to see us told us about a man who slid (slowly) on ice off the road into the ditch, hit the temple of his head on the seatbelt adjuster on the door pillar and died. So, everyone go and check the height of your seatbelt adjusters!

  8. It was throught your link that I looked at the book. Actually the title was a turn off for me. self healing guide I can imagine it has self affimation things, list you good points and meditate and imagine yourself in a special place sort of thing. Most self help books follow this trend.

    Not that I am condeming such thing they work for some people but I am now in the cynical/sceptical phase of my life and just go you want me to do what where is your scientific evidence that this works. LOL

  9. CJ : yes there is quite a bit of that 'sit comforably in a chair and imagine yourself in a calm/happy place and the good feelings in parts of your body'.


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