Delegating and crossing the road

OK, I have had to have a rethink about this working business...  the last couple of days I've been feeling very emotional, tired, teary; and if anyone is nice to me (which everyone is!) then it make it worse!   The Whys and Wherefores I think are a combination of lots of things:

• Missing Mr H
• Christmas and all the little things and arrangements connected with it.
• End of the year at work - so many things that need doing before the New Year
• Going into the office for full days - I am having to rethink that one.

I tried to delegate a big job to someone this morning, it has ended up as a compromise, we will each do something on it. I'm just going to try not to stress about it and give some of the responsibility to others in the office.

I used to be totally useless at delegation.  It probably stems from the fact that for 12 years I was alone doing my job, so I did everything. I helped design the systems and how things were done, and I had my methods for getting the work done.  In 1997 when I ended up on anti-depressants, the boss realised we needed more staff.  Now there are 4 of us doing what I was doing, and I have had to Let Go and let people get on with it, and make their own mistakes...  It's difficult, relinquishing something that you have built up yourself over so many years.

Partly it is a control thing, of course; but partly it is the feeling that 'if you want a job done properly, do it yourself'.  Not saying I'm perfect, far from it, but it frustrates the hell out of me when people make careless mistakes.  It begs the question, if you put safeguards in to prevent mistakes, does it stop people thinking for themselves so they switch off more, and hence make more mistakes?

So, yes learning delegation has been hard for me, but I have been getting better at it.    The accident was in fact good for the office - people were forced to do things they would normally just ask me for; and it has also prompted us to make sure more people knew about various systems, rather than just one person.  It has made me much more relaxed about my work, all part of the same shift in priorities which both Mr H and I have experienced since June 27th. 

Recently, when I have been walking about a bit more, I've realised how difficult crossing the road is now;  I mean in places where there isn't a pedestrian crossing.   Now that I can't stride across quickly and time it perfectly between cars - I have to leave loads of time to walk across slowly and not risk tripping over in my rush.  Yesterday I had to wait for ages to cross the main road, before I was happy there was enough time.

But yes, I have been known to delegate crossing the road to somebody else, if the post box is on the other side!