I have told the friend that I wish she'd told me she was annoyed, rather than being passive-aggressive via Facebook. Well I didn't actually mention the passive-aggressive part, but that's what it is. Which brings me on to a different subject - people who hold grudges.
I am not a grudge-holder. If something goes wrong in a friendship or work relationship (or even worse those that involve both), I just want to get it sorted out and move on. I can't stand festering atmospheres or ongoing sulks. In general I just want to get on with people, and if it gets to the point where I simply can't get on with them, then I just stay away from them as much as possible.
If someone gets the hump with me for some minor reason, I just want to say "What? what is the matter? What have I done this time? Let's sort this out, now!" But, some people enjoy holding grudges and having the hump, and sulking, and not talking to people for days/weeks/months. They'll say things like "how can you just brush that off like that?" Because life's too short to waste on it, that's why.
We're all human, we make mistakes. We say the wrong thing at the wrong time, or we don't say the right thing at the right time, because maybe we're thinking about something else or there's a crisis going on which is taking up all our thinking space. To that other person it is huge thing, while you don't even realise you have done/not done it. You are thoughtless and heartless not to have made that first thing on your mind. And even if you've already said 'thank you' or 'congratulations' or 'sorry' you still have to say it or mention it for the next 5 times you meet them, otherwise you are rude and back on the Hump list.
And because I hate the brewing atmosphere I end up being the one to apologise, which I'm sure labels me the one who is perpetually in the wrong, even if the problem is them getting things totally out of proportion.
I thought friendship was supposed to be pleasurable and relaxing, but sometimes it can be really hard work.