The physical symptom that makes me think most about the crash is not my aching, can't-use-it leg, or the big scar on my knee; it's the stiffness and aching I still have in the middle joint of the 4th finger of my right hand some mornings when I wake up. It is this that makes me try and remember the moments between knowing there was going to be an impact, and the few seconds later when we were stationary.
I have no recollection of the actual impact so I have to make it up in my head... for instance I imagine that my right hand hit the windscreen as it was stove in, as it had a lot of bruising and surface cuts; I had an injury on my inner right arm that was 3 semi-circles, and before it faded to a couple of small scars I tried to work out what part of the dashboard had done it. I obviously hit the steering wheel really hard with my upper left side judging by the bruising. But I have no recollection of any of this.
I suppose it is human nature to try and fill in the gaps, and I think of it as all part of the process, but I also know that trying to remember is pointless as I never will.
Do you not think that some time in the future you will get a flash of something. You always do in stories! As your body heals itself........
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure, my life is not normally much like a novel ;)
ReplyDeleteI'll let you know!