Monday, 5 March 2012


Mr H's (and my) 17 year old niece, who lost her mother to cancer aged 48 a couple of years ago, recently dumped her boyfriend "because he is horrible to his mother. I can't be with someone who doesn't treat his mother well".

My mother often drives me to distraction. She imagines conversations, she dwells on things (real or imagined) for weeks, she says 'I can't' when she can.  I know it's not her fault that the neurons are aging, but sometimes I dread her phoning, having imagined I said or promised something, or to ask me about a thought that's been worrying her. Some days she's got her old spark back and is on the up, others she's lost and vulnerable, and I find it sad and difficult.

Our niece is amazing; she is strong, beautiful and funny (just like her mother), she and her brother are a real inspiration. 

When I'm struggling with my parents getting older, feeling impatient with Mum and worrying about what's going to happen in the future, I have to remind myself that others wish with all their hearts that they had both parents to worry about...

1 comment:

  1. Now there's a wisened niece that you can be proud of and proud for. If he isn't going to respect one, darn questionable how he'll respect others.

    And I feel for her and you cuz I believe it's difficult either way--with.....or without.

    I'm a 'mom' worshiper, much for the same reason the neice is--I lost mine at a young age and didn't get the opportunity to walk through some things with her (or my father as he passed on when I was in my early 20's).
    I did get to walk through some of that with the step-mom who I lost in my late 20's--ever so grateful I did get to do that part with her. Honestly, I preferred having that privilege.

    It's a whole thesis as to why that is! LOL


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