Because of my leg it took me three sessions to get the bricks down, partly because the soil was hard digging. So it's probably taken me a month to do what I would normally do in a weekend, because that's all I can do (and people still tell me I should be taking it easy).
I walked around some beautiful gardens this morning at Beaulieu and came home inspired, bought three plants at the nearby garden centre and they are perfect. My plan is to plant so much stuff that there is no breathing space for weeds. However, we don't have sweet little green weeds, we have brambles, and ivy, and bracken and really the shady part of the garden should be turned into a woodland glade because that's the kind of stuff that grows in it. Maybe after 21 years of trying to tame it we should throw in the towel and pave the whole of the SW corner (that's a joke by the way).
But I also know my depression isn't totally about the garden. It's about me. It's about being knackered after one hours of gardening, when even taking the spade back to the shed is an effort. It's about tackling it alone, rather than the teamwork of me and Mr H. It's about not knowing how long this is going to last, right now the light at the end of the tunnel is pretty dim.
I think it's time for a cup of tea.
I read this, I read that. And a cup of tea would be good, ty. For you--possibly for me.
ReplyDeleteI remember getting to do the separation and the distance. Came that time when it no longer worked--for either of us. And decisions had to be made, movement had to happen.
Dunno for you--but I know it's disheartening to have limitations where there once were none. Yes, gratitude helps. Being reminded of where I was and where I AM--helps. Having someone remind me of those things--helps. And having a bunch of note cards with amazing things that have happened for me, to me....things that I didn't orchestrate and just HAPPENED--those amazing gifts that I sometimes 'forget'.
Yeah..... I think I'll go pull out those cards and have a look-see at 'those times'. When I have a tough time giving someone an example--time to pull 'em out! (tells me what I'm focusing on, huh?)
Such a lovely heart shaped garden.....and I like the way you laid the mostly hidden foundation....less is surely more here!
ReplyDeleteI love the vibrancy of life here. There's so much going on - and so much of you already invested in it - that it's hard to not be touched by the life that's happening in this place.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't always have to be orderly or planned to be glorious. It just is, and I'm glad you continue to get out there and make it happen.
You have to go and look at good gardens that have the same conditions as you and see what they have. Go to Everton at the time of year that you want some colour and see what they are selling. Plant autumn bulbs that you buy flowering in pots where you want them to be and they will come up next yearn(and multiply). Look at other peoples' rampant things that you like and plant those then you'll have weeds that you like :-) And sit on your terrace and admire what you have done x
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone.
ReplyDeleteRosie I went to Fairweathers and bought some Rudbeckia (have been admiring them for a while) and two other August/Sept flowering plants - I put them in after I took the picture above.
I need to find a garden with an area that is pretty much in the shade all the time except late summer evenings ;-) We've used the 'full sun' area for vegetables...
I've actually gone right off bulbs because they use space all the time but there is nothing there for half the year! Like the bluebells - we have loads and loads of them but when they aren't out there is nothing in their place.
I'm feeling better about things this morning (maybe mowing down all the weeds last night helped haha).
Jx