"Does not play well with others"

I have come to the conclusion that the office communal kitchen must be the source of more raised blood pressure than anywhere in the work place.

I have laughed as much as anyone at the cartoons about offices covered in Post-It note instructions, but as soon as I go into the office kitchen I am gripped by the desire to join the Kitchen Police. Is this just because we all have different standards, or because it almost feels as though somebody else has come into your personal kitchen and messed with stuff?

Here are the notes I would like to leave in the kitchen at work:

• Will those who eat lunch at work please wash their crockery and cutlery and place on the draining board.
• Please empty the dirty washing water, which contains the remains of your lunch, out of the washing up bowl.
• Please do not leave mugs etc.’soaking’ in cold water overnight for me to find in the morning.
• Fill up the water filter jug after you have emptied it into the kettle.
• Please wipe the work tops after you have spilled sugar / coffee / hot chocolate / water all over it.
• Please wash up teaspoons properly instead of just swishing them in the water and thinking that will remove the tea/coffee stains.
• Put the milk back in the fridge after use.
• Do not leave 1mm of milk in the bottom of the bottle.
• Do not buy odd flavoured teas that no-one will drink, unless you are going to drink them yourself.
• Please do not leave food in the fridge for more than 4 months.

There, I feel better already.