Sunday, 18 October 2009

Confidence questions

Why is it that some of us refuse to believe we may be good at something, or are always doubting ourselves and our abilities?

I just finished my very first Open University assignment, which I am pleased with; yet I'm thinking "that seemed to happen too easily, I must have overlooked something."

I know it's not just me...... Is it a female trait? or do men think it too but cover it up with b*llsh*t most of the time? 

I've sailed with so many men who are full of bluster and give the impression of being extremely competent, but then it turns out they aren't.  Are they scared to say 'well actually, I'm not sure about x, y, z' in case they lose face?

I do know that when I do something and afterwards think 'you know what? I was pretty good at that' it boosts my confidence until the next time when I get the same old nerves and worry about messing it up.  At least these days I will give something a go and risk making a mistake or not being very good at it, rather than saying 'no' and avoiding the situation as I would have when I was younger.

Let's face it, we only have one of these lives; and if the worst thing that can happen is that you are disappointed, or not asked back, or any other red-faced outcome, then what the hell, just go for it!


  1. Been thinking about this. Don't think it's a female only thing to lack self confidence. I think men are better at hiding it perhaps. It seems to be one of the joys of getting older that you care less what other people think and are more prepared to 'give it a go'. Also the more people/women you get to know well, the more you realise that the most confident looking women are racked with self doubt just like the rest of us.

  2. I think you're right, and the more people I meet, the more I recognise low self-esteem in supposedly happy, confident people.

    And to paraphrase Flanders and Swann: the girl dancing topless on the table is "making up for a basic lack of self-confidence" ;-)

    Older definitely = Wiser!


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