Today our clocks went back to GMT here in the UK.. I managed to enjoy an extra hour in bed and still not get up late, having woken up at about 7.20am after a dream about being on a sinking Volvo 70 after somebody wound the keel too far (yeah I'm meaning a boat not a car).. I was just asking politely where the lifejackets were when I woke up.
Stepping back a couple of weeks, I saw my doctor for various things that needed updating, and ended up with a 'mild depression' diagnosis having burst into tears on seeing her, and us having a long chat. Nothing I hadn't worked out myself really, I've just run out of adrenalin/seratonin/Mojo. Not bad enough for meds (the first thing I said was that I don't want any more) and the prescription was plenty of fresh air and exercise, allowing myself treats, and not becoming a hermit.. ie. socialising. I have never been big on socialising because.. well I can't be bothered with thinking of things to talk about. I told her about being a child and never wanting to go to any parties. And then not wanting to go home again (after my parents had made me go).
"Ok" my doctor said, "You need to talk to yourself like a 4 year old.... tell yourself you'll enjoy it when you get there. And it WILL make you feel better. Oh, and no alcohol."
I have been feeling better, with the odd relapse. This morning I decided that I was NOT going to see what my hair looks like in it's natural colour, because that would mean I had given up and didn't care what I looked like. My hair to me is like other people treat make up or clothes - it defines me.
So, it is currently cooking back to Red Passion.. in fact it was due to wash out 10 minutes ago so I'd better go!