Spring has sprung

Instructions on potatoes:  "Plant when the risk of frost is past".  Yes well that could be the end of April!!

Planted them yesterday, frost last night.  Oh well what the heck they'll be fine.

I also cleared out the greenhouse, which is only 6 x 4 and had become a repository for all sorts of stuff over the last two years.  So I have the staging back in a useable state, and a wee tomato plant in there now.

Spring is here!

Letters

I wrote a letter to Mr H the other day.

We have both had rubbish weeks, and things were feeling wrong. I needed to talk to him but whenever I try I just get upset. So I wrote to him instead. I miss writing to him.

In the UK, it is proposed to increase the price of stamps by a huge amount, 50% or so. I heard a man from the Post Office say that "Letters are only written by people who can't use e-mail".  What rot! I shouted at the radio (or words to that effect). 

I didn't post the letter to Mr H though, I left it on the bed.

Chickens and eggs

I read a research article the other day about pain in the proximal thigh following femur IM nailling (ie. what I've got).  It was quite interesting although it was related to 1991-1993 surgeries so possibly things are done differently now.

Anyway, in amongst the research paper it mentioned that a) where litigation is involved the patients experienced more pain and b) when the litigation is settled the pain diminshes.

Well, that sound reasonable I thought. Where litigation is involved and it depends to some extent on how much one is suffering, and you have a constant reminder of it with contact from the solicitor etc., it is bound to have an effect on how much you think about the pain.

Then I thought, but if the litigation continues as long as there is substantial pain, but reduces when it is settled, surely this is a chicken and egg situation?   It still hurts substantially so the litigation drags on...?

The other thing the article took into account was whether the patients had had the IM nail removed because of pain or 'irritation'.  I really don't want to go through another surgery, and if they suggest it then it's going to be a difficult decision to make. Oh well, I'll cross that bridge if and when I come to it.

In the meantime, every time I think "Oh *** it hurts today!"  I will psychoanalyse myself ;-)

Going doo-lally

I was just thinking how easy it would be to persuade someone that they are going mad / senile even if they weren't.  I'm sure it's the sort of thing that awful people in novels or films do to their parents in order to get their hands on the dosh. Such an easy way to mentally torture somebody by sewing seeds of doubt in their mind.

Mr H and I sometimes have disagreements about what we have told each other, or accuse each other of remembering something wrongly.  We are both convinced that we are remembering correctly, although it cannot possibly be the case (and it's not in writing so neither of us can prove it). 

Right now I am hesitating about passing on some casual news in case he says "I told you all about that the other week, don't you listen to a word I say?"  I'm wracking my brain in advance and I don't recall knowing anything about it... aaggghh I'll just have to risk it! ;-)

After effects

One of the things the psychologist definitely got right about me was my sense of vulnerability since the crash, both on behalf of myself and others. 

Life is threatening. Anything could happen, from anywhere, without warning. People's behaviour isn't to be trusted.  I'm not talking about meteorites hitting earth but physical vulnerability in every day situations.

When I am driving, or when I cycle or walk towork, I am so much more wary of what cars / cyclists / pedestrians may do. It may be something that would affect me, or the thought of seeing a crash happen to someone else. People driving fast (too fast in my mind), or overtaking in a bad place, set my heart a-thumping. The other day I saw someone playing with their dog by the road, it kept running out in the road and back again. I wanted to shout at her, and my nervous reaction shocked me.

Mr H can tell you that my reaction if I think he is driving too fast or close, or taking (what I think of as) risks is that of a nervous wreck. 

Yet when I'm driving, or in control of a situation, or feeling relaxed, I can forget about it.  Until that car in front decides to overtake on a blind bend, nooooooo!

Can't - Can

Yesterday we got an invitation in the office to go sailing on Mariquita in May   I jumped at the chance and e-mailed the skipper to say yes please, my colleague and I would love to come.

Last night I got an attack of the nerves thinking 'I can't' and this morning I was thinking 'maybe I shouldn't', 'what if it's windy?'

But by the time I got to work I had decided that I can.

I didn't go swimming

I was going to go swimming tonight... ok step back a bit, I would normally have gone to aquaerobics last night, but last Monday I must have pulled something because the middle of my thigh where the lumpy bone is has been painful since then, more than usual I mean.  When I took my sock off the other night I'm sure it made a strange crunching noise inside there...!   The problem, or at least the thing (as it's not really a problem) with any class such as aquaerobics is that if I go then I put all my effort into it.  There is no option of 'going but taking it easy', I can't do that.

So I thought I'd go ordinary swimming tonight, but then I cycled to work (twice) and walked Django after work, so I'd had some exercise and decided that I'd do some sketching instead (while Mr H is outside welding the Mole).

So here is what I sketched:

blind contour drawing of my fiddle

normal sketch

more blind contour of the fiddle, and the end of a broken bow

blind contour of some large sewing scissors - man this was difficult.  I tried starting them in different places but it didn't help much!

(Sorry the photo quality isn't brilliant, will use a better camera next time)

I'm a winner!

I have just won an original of one of Carol's super drawings, to be precise I caught this one !

To be in her monthly draw to win one, just follow her art blog (of course, it's well worth following without that extra incentive!).  I highly recommend that you go and take a look.

She inspires me to have a go at stuff, and reminds me that it doesn't have to be big or complicated (although some of hers are complicated)... I just need to put some action behind that inspiration!