Chicken and egg

When dealing with relationship or colleague issues, it's important to try and focus on the behaviour, not the personality... but does one inextricably lead to the other?

Dig deeper

Now I am starting to discover more about my fellow OU tutor group members, I am realising that there is a lot more to people that meets the eye. That sounds like an obvious statement, but like it or not most of us tend to assume that the population at large are all the same stereotypical dull person, unless they have any obvious distinguishing features like the way they dress, or multiple piercings.

But taking this small example:

One has tunnel vision; one has no central vision, only peripheral.  Several have tattoos, one is a Pagan. Our tutor is a Buddhist.  And that is just half a dozen of the girls!  Yet if you saw us all sitting in a room you'd never know all that.

We may all look similar on the surface but once you start getting under the skin it's a different matter.

Take time to discover people - you never know what you might find.

Decisions, decisions

Benecol suggest that as an alternative to Brits talking about the weather, we could talk about our cholesterol levels.

Oh joy.

Dreams....

Occasionally I realise that I am going to be studying for my degree for the next 6 YEARS.... and yet in the rest of my life I don't know what might have changed by then.

That feels a little odd.

Modern reality

I've never before been in the position of being friends with both parties in a separated relationship, but over the last couple of years I have found myself in that position.  They have two children and now one of them has a new partner; so when it came to Christmas cards this year I was a little perplexed what to do.  Last year I put the children on the card of my 'primary' friend; this year I put them on their mother's card and included the new partner on the other one. It felt very weird.

Having had a discussion last night about their Christmas arrangements, and how one of them might actually end up spending it alone, it made me realise how easy it is having just the one husband. So many people have to deal with complex and emotive arrangements around Christmas time... and the depressing fact is that it is probably now the norm, rather than the exception.

Motherhood

Most people who know me, know that I am not the maternal type and and am happily 'child-free'; but the woman I met last night made my jaw drop.

I was chatting to a friend here in Phuket when a couple came up who knew them; first impression was 'English Public School', now living in Dubai.  After about 5 minutes the woman said "Oh by the way I had a baby", and the rest of the information consisted of the following: Had it in July, it apparently has no name (as none was proferred) but I did gather it's female; is currently in the hotel room with some local girl who speaks no English. She had a maid for the first 4 weeks so didn't have to get up in the night or change a nappy; now terribly bored and can't wait to get back to work full time in January; and motherhood is over-rated.

I was left feeling as though she had just bought a new car, not brought a new life into the world.

East meets West

The drive from Phuket airport to Kata Beach Resort feels like one long contradiction.   The overall feel is of traditional Thai countryside and slightly ramshackle houses, but each time I come there are more Western influences.   

Jostling with the mass of scooters driven by bareheaded youths (the occasional one does wear a helmet), pickups with crates stacked with coconuts or carrying workmen, and men pulling karts full of ladders there are smart pickups, vans and cars.  But the smart pickups will be parked under a very flimsy looking homemade carport which looks as though it would fall down in the first strong wind. My taxi was a pimped minibus with wall to wall leather, so much so I felt the need to take a photo of it!

But the main Westernisation is the shops.  There are still roadside food outlets (neither 'restaurants' nor 'cafes' is really the right description) and scooter repair shops and traditional Thai shops with Thai writing.   There has been a large Tescos here for some time, but on the drive down today I noticed more large superstores, and a retail park that wasn't there 2 years ago.  Nike, Adidas, surfer clothing, Xara - it was as if someone had taken a bunch of shops from a designer outlet in the UK and dumped it in the middle of a bit of Phuket wasteland.

As well as the scruffy scooter roadside hire and repair shops there are big flashy motorbike show rooms with new bikes from Honda and Suzuki and the like; on the car front I saw a massive new building which was obviously going to house several motoring companies.

Large billboards in English: adverts for Lifestyle Living, new apartments, spas, home-improvement centres, IT centres, MacDonalds... some of it seems very incongruous, especially when a few minutes later there is a place selling Thai noodles or gilt statues of elephants or very elaborate gold and red ornaments to put outside your house.   It makes you mind shift all the time between the familiar and the unfamiliar, which is really quite a strange feeling.

And amongst it all is the love the Thai people have for their King.   Yellow flags flying on gateposts; posters showing the King and his wife at work with their people; gold framed photos of the King outside houses and shops.  Maybe this is because the week I come here is the week of the King's birthday, but somehow I know this is an all-year love and respect shown openly, something you would not expect to see in the West.

Little things

On my way to work I often see a man cycling the other way, with a small child who looks about 2 years old perched on a crossbar seat, happily clinging onto the handlebars, bright-yellow-helmeted. He cycles with her rain or shine and I can't help smiling, and wondering where they are going, Dad and his little girl.

It's the little things that can brighten up your day sometimes.