Letting it all go

I never take a mirror camping.  It matters not to me that I can't see what I look like when I wake up, and as Mr H doesn't scream when he sees me I'm guessing it's not that bad.  When camping, I wear no makeup and don't wash and style my hair every day; the whole point of a camping holiday is escape from everyday life, pressures, worries, 'normality'.

I've never understood women (or men for that matter) who clearly have their normal bathroom / make up routine every day when they are camping - just let it go.  Relax, stop worrying about what you look like in the holiday photos. Kick back and be at one with nature.

I know that some people CANNOT go out in public without makeup on and their hair perfect (or that perfectly messy that takes hours to achieve).  I am not one of those people.  I never wore much makeup when I was young, and now it is pretty much limited to mascara (only because I have really short eyelashes), and maybe some powder if it's a special occasion. Yes, I'm pretty lazy in the makeup department unless it is a really special occasion when I'll dig out some eye shadow...

Talking about hair, having been through the phase of liking the novelty of it straightened, I am now enjoying the wildness of curly, 'whatever' hair. It is freeing and makes me feel less like a clone of everyone else with a straight bob haircut. The only time my hair is straight now is when it has just been cut - and that is mainly because the curls don't sit naturally when they've been pulled around, dried, scrunched and tweaked.  So I have a couple of days of smart, straight hair every 6 weeks, and then I revert to the 'dragged through hedge backwards' look, and just let it all go...

May already...?

Hello, yep I haven't really been here.  But not for bad reasons, life is good. And full!

My head has either been deep in an essay about Climate Change and how international responses to it cause as much harm as they are trying to alleviate (4000 words), or getting the classic car ready for its first hillclimb.  Oh and learning PR and how to write work press releases, and taking time to workout at the fitness studios which are my third home.

And now its May, and all my essays are in so I only (ONLY!) have revision to do for my exam on June 12th.  I haven't even set out a revision plan yet and do seem to have perfected procrastination. 

We did our first hillclimb of the season last weekend, Alex's very first time.  It's so good having something fun and challenging to do together, which is competitive but also mutually supportive when we achieve another 10th of a second off our time!  

I had to have my photo taken with the British Women Racing Drivers' Club sticker and the badge on my suit, in order to claim points towards their championship, so here it is for your amusement.  Mad hair day :)

This evening I did my first sailing club safety boat duty, and tractor driving (to launch/recover the boats) for three years.  I'd forgotten how much of an upper body workout you get with the tractor, it's 1964 and wouldn't know what power steering was if you mentioned it! 

It was a beautiful, if chilly, evening out on the river and it was good to get out and think about something else.

Change time

Today our clocks went back to GMT here in the UK.. I managed to enjoy an extra hour in bed and still not get up late, having woken up at about 7.20am after a dream about being on a sinking Volvo 70 after somebody wound the keel too far (yeah I'm meaning a boat not a car).. I was just asking politely where the lifejackets were when I woke up.

Stepping back a couple of weeks, I saw my doctor for various things that needed updating, and ended up with a  'mild depression' diagnosis having burst into tears on seeing her, and us having a long chat.  Nothing I hadn't worked out myself really, I've just run out of adrenalin/seratonin/Mojo.   Not bad enough for meds (the first thing I said was that I don't want any more) and the prescription was plenty of fresh air and exercise, allowing myself treats, and not becoming a hermit.. ie. socialising.  I have never been big on socialising because.. well I can't be bothered with thinking of things to talk about. I told her about being a child and never wanting to go to any parties. And then not wanting to go home again (after my parents had made me go).

"Ok" my doctor said, "You need to talk to yourself like a 4 year old.... tell yourself you'll enjoy it when you get there. And it WILL make you feel better. Oh, and no alcohol."

I have been feeling better, with the odd relapse.   This morning I decided that I was NOT going to see what my hair looks like in it's natural colour, because that would mean I had given up and didn't care what I looked like.  My hair to me is like other people treat make up or clothes - it defines me.

So, it is currently cooking back to Red Passion.. in fact it was due to wash out 10 minutes ago so I'd better go!

Time for a change

For the last 2... 3... 4...?  lost count years I've been colouring my hair a bold Red Passion or similar.   This time I decided I fancied a change and have gone for Berry Red which is a much darker brown with red tones.  (those of you on my facebook already know this!).

I now have to think differently about what clothes I wear, because they look different!  I'd say that it affects make up too, but I don't wear more than mascara most days anyway.

It is certainly true (probably more for women) that how you hair looks affects your mood - I feel like a new person this morning!

Feelgood Friday - an attempt!

Well after yesterday's rant, and the fact that no-one told me they were re-booting the server at work this morning so it hung in the middle of my remote login, I am trying to shift myself from Grrr mode into zen Feelgood Friday mode...

1.  As I said yesterday, I am now cleared for driving short distances.  I can drive myself to work, to my parents', to the Forest to walk Django, to the train station, to the dog food store, to my friend's house 5 miles away. When I actually drove on the road yesterday, it was as if I had never stopped, it was all natural.  Well I suppose 27 years worth of experience means that it's fairly ingrained but still I was surprised that I didn't 'notice' it more.

My parents' reaction to me telling them was complete surprise and a warning Not to Do Too Much and a stern look. *sigh*.   Oh and apparently my mother is 'worried about the way I limp'.  What???  I limp (a bit) because I am not yet fully weight bearing, oh and because my leg hurts!  And when I'm tired or my leg is tired, then I limp more noticeably.  I can see that I am going to have to have a little chat on Sunday when I see them.

OK this zen thing seems to have slipped off the rails a bit...

2.  It's Friday so that means tomorrow is the weekend, hurrah!   I will spend most of tomorrow studying and preparing for my research experiment/report which makes up TMA (assignment) 03.  This week I will be running the experiment with 4 participants who will be friends or work colleagues.  But that is the easy bit, writing up the intro, design/method and results will be the time consuming bit but I can get all but the results done beforehand.   At the moment I am awaiting the result of TMA02 which I submitted ages ago, but the deadline was only the 12th Jan so I might get the results in the next 7 days or so. I've kind of forgotten about that one now.

3.  My hair is Red Passion again :-)  My best friend G and I had a hair dying session at her house last night - hers strawberry blonde and mine red.   The last time I coloured it I used a mid-brown to see what it would look like, but it didn't have much effect on the hair that was red from previously, and the roots looked liked roots.  So this time I went back to Schwartzkopf shade no.43 which is much more 'me'! 

4.  In three weeks time I will be in Scotland for a long weekend :-)  though I'm not currently sure which property we'll be living in!

5.  Spring is coming!   Bulbs are starting to show their heads in the garden and new shoots are appearing on shrubs and trees.  The blue tits have been sussing out the bird box.  And the days are getting longer, albeit almost imperceptibly.

Hmmm, well still not feeling completely zen.  I'm really in one of those moods where I just want to lock myself in and not talk to anyone. I will try harder....